What is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety is the third largest psychological problem in the world today. It is one of the most common mental health conditions. Up to 1 in 10 adults have social phobia to some degree. It usually develops in the teenage years and is usually a lifelong problem unless treated. Just over twice as many women are affected than men.

The following is typically found with social phobia or social anxiety:

A person sits in front of the telephone and agonizes because she’s afraid to pick up the receiver and make a call. She’s even afraid to call an unknown person in a business office about the electric bill because she’s afraid she’ll be “putting someone out” and they will be upset with her. It’s very hard for her to take rejection, even over the phone, even from someone she doesn’t know.

She’s especially afraid to call people she does know because she feels that she’ll be calling at the wrong time — the other person will be busy — and they won’t want to talk with her. She feels rejected even before she makes the call.

Once the call is made and over, she sits, analyses, and ruminates about what was said, what tone it was said in, and how she was perceived by the other person….her anxiety and racing thoughts concerning the call prove to her that she “goofed” this conversation up, too, just like she always does. Sometimes she gets embarrassed just thinking about the call.

In public places, such as work, meetings, or shopping, people with social anxiety feel that everyone is watching, staring, and judging them (even though rationally they know this isn’t true).

Many times people with social anxiety simply must be alone—closeted—with the door closed behind them. Even when they’re around familiar people, a person with social anxiety may feel overwhelmed and have the feeling that others are noticing their every movement and critiquing their every thought. They feel like they are being observed critically and that other people are making negative judgments about them.

One of the worst circumstances, though, is meeting people who are “authority figures”, especially people such as bosses and supervisors at work, but including almost anyone who is seen as being “better” than they are in some respect.

People with social anxiety may get a lump in their throat and their facial muscles may freeze up when they meet this person.

The anxiety level is very high and they’re so focused on “not failing” and “giving themselves away” that they don’t even remember what was said in the conversation. But later on, they’re sure they must have said the wrong thing…..because they always do.

How is it ever possible to feel “comfortable” or “natural” under these circumstances?

To the person with social anxiety, going to a job interview is pure torture: you know your excessive anxiety will give you away.

You’ll look funny, you’ll be hesitant, maybe you’ll even blush, and you won’t be able to find the right words to answer the questions coherently. Maybe this is the worst part of all: You know that you are going to say the wrong thing. You just know it. It is especially frustrating because you know you could do the job well if you could just get past this terrifying and intimidating interview.

Because few socially-anxious people have heard of their own problem, and have never seen it discussed on any media, such as the television talk shows, they think they are the only ones in the whole world who have these terrible symptoms. Therefore, they must keep quiet about them. It would be awful if everyone realized how much anxiety they experienced in daily life. Then what would people think about them?

The Symptoms of Social Anxiety

As with all problems, everyone with social anxiety has slightly different secondary symptoms. Some people, for example, cannot write in public because they fear people are watching and their hand will shake. Others are very introverted and they find it too difficult to hold down a job. Still others have severe anxiety about eating or drinking in the presence of other people. Some people with social anxiety feel that a certain part of their body (such as the face or neck or ears) are particularly “strange looking” and vulnerable to being stared at.

One thing that all socially anxious people share is the knowledge that their thoughts and fears are basically irrational. That is, people with social anxiety know that others are really not critically judging or evaluating them all the time. They understand that people are not trying to embarrass or humiliate them. They realize that their thoughts and feelings are somewhat exaggerated and irrational. Yet, despite this rational knowledge, they still continue to feel differently.

Social phobia is sometimes called social anxiety disorder. Social phobia is not just shyness, it is more severe than this. With social phobia you get very anxious about what other people may think of you, or how they may judge you. As a result you have great difficulty in social situations which can affect your day-to-day life.

Symptoms include:

• A marked fear or dread of social situations.
• You fear that you will act in an embarrassing or humiliating way and that other people will think you are stupid, inadequate, foolish, etc.

In some cases the fear is only for certain situations where you will be looked at by others even if they are known to you.

For example you become very anxious if you have to ‘perform’ in some way such as give a talk or presentation, take part in a discussion at work or school, etc. But, you are OK in informal social gatherings.

In other cases the fear occurs for most social situations where you may meet strangers.

This can even include eating in public places as you fear you may act in an embarrassing way.

You may have weeks of anxiety prior to a social event or an event where you have to ‘perform’ – we call this “anticipatory anxiety”.

You avoid such situations as much as possible. But if you go to the feared situation you might display some or all of the following:

• become very anxious and distressed
• fast heart rate
• palpitations
• shaking (tremor)
• sweating
• feeling sick
• chest pain
• headaches
• stomach pains
• a ‘knot in the stomach’
• fast breathing
• blush easily
• an intense desire to get away from the situation
• have a panic attack

However, you will usually know that your fear and anxiety is excessive and unreasonable.

Social phobia can greatly affect your life. You may not do as well at school or work as you might have done as you tend to avoid any group work, discussions, etc. You may find it hard to get, or keep, a job as you may not be able to cope with the social aspects needed for many jobs such as meeting with people. You may become socially isolated and find it difficult to make friends.

Fear of Public Speaking

Fear of public speaking has been rated as the number one phobia. Some say it is more feared than death!. Called by many names – stage fright, speech anxiety, shyness, fear of speaking, performance anxiety or speech phobia, fear of public speaking can have a negative effect on careers and the ability to get things done.

A little anxiety, or adrenalin rush, before giving a speech or getting up on stage can sometimes help to pump someone up for a great performance, but occasionally the intense anxiety they feel, incapacitates them. For these people, responding to a question in a meeting, or giving a presentation may cause a surge of anxiety that’s excruciating.

Symptoms may include:

• shortness of breath
• the inability to speak
• a shaky voice
• rapid breathing
• rapid heartbeat
• sweating
• nausea
• a feeling of butterflies-in-the-stomach
• racing heart or blushing

Therapy for Social Anxiety

The choice of therapy to help your Social Anxiety is going to depend on just how much the problem is affecting your day-to-day life, and also how long you have been suffering from the problem.
Ruth Watson is able to offer three principle techniques for helping you to resolve your issues:

Clinical Hypnosis for Social Anxiety

If your Social Phobia is “relatively” minor and only affects you now and again, then you may have found that you have been able to tolerate the feelings that you have experienced. In these circumstances I would normally recommend just one or two sessions of Clinical Hypnosis (Suggestion Therapy) as this particular technique has an excellent track record in these cases.

Cognitive Processing and Integration Therapy for Social Anxiety

If your particular Social Anxiety issues are more significant and they are having a seriously disruptive effect on your life, then you may wish to consider a technique such as Cognitive Processing & Integration Therapy. This type of therapy can help you to re-process any past situation that may have become “blocked” in your mind leading to a more permanent resolution. Normally CPI takes place over a number of sessions.

The Mindfulness and More Programme for Social Anxiety

The very latest, and perhaps most effective way to deal with Social Anxiety is to follow a course of the Mindfulness and More Programme. This Mind Therapy technique helps you to really understand how your “beliefs” have contributed to the way that you feel and in doing so, teaches you how to take control of your thinking and really change the way you “see the world.” This approach utilises a research-backed applied course of Psychology combined with Mindfulness and has been producing excellent results.
Ruth offers both group sessions and one-to-one sessions for this programme.